(Newswire.net — July 12, 2015) Sydney, NEW SOUTH WALES — Susie Miller, known internationally as The Better Relationship Coach, is an author, speaker and coach who is dedicated to helping people create better relationships in 30 days or less. She is also the bestselling author of “Listen, Learn, Love: How to Dramatically Improve Your Relationships in 30 Days or Less.”
Q: As well as an author and speaker, Susie I understand you are also a therapist turned coach. Can you tell me about that and exactly what you do?
Most people don’t get into a relationship thinking it’s going to be average. But life happens, stress happens, and we end up settling for mediocre. We want more connection but we’re not quite sure how to get there. And that’s where I can help. Reducing stress, improving communication and increasing connection all help relationships get better.
You know, people think there is this huge gap and they don’t know how to bridge it. They think it’s insurmountable. But with some skills, some foundational principles and some tweaking, I can help you get together and connect in the way you once were connected, and enjoy that loving partnership that everyone wants.
As a therapist I was limited geographically with who I could work with and how I could work with clients, a bit like a medical practice. But as a coach I can work virtually with clients all over the country and internationally and I get to be involved in people’s lives differently. And that is really rewarding.
Q: Congratulations on your new book and it being a best seller. What led you to write a book Susie?
Apart from it being a life-long dream of mine. I can’t think of many things more rewarding than helping people build better relationships. I really do count it a privilege to walk into that very important part of people’s lives. I often say that relationships are the currency of today. So learning to create great ones is important for success in life and in business.
As my coaching practice grew, I began speaking and travelling more to business conferences, entrepreneurial events, even corporations, and my coaching time became more and more limited. I found some ways to help people reduce stress. I had one of my client’s say, “You’re like the translator in our marriage. You help us reduce fights and get an understanding of each other.” And I began to think about the foundational principals that work across the board that help any relationship improve. I put those together into a book so that more people could be reached.
Q: Susie, I must admit, your subtitle really caught my attention. Is it possible to dramatically improve your relationship in 30 days or less? Can folks really see results that quickly?
That’s a great question, and the answer is yes! In fact one client used one of the tips we talked about in our coaching session with his wife that night and the next day I got a message from him that said, “Susie, it really worked! I didn’t think it would. But I used that tip and my wife and I had a conversation and a connection in a way we hadn’t had for a long time.” So, yes you can see results quickly, even if you are the only one making an effort. While all marriage concerns can’t be resolved in 30 days, you can see progress and improvement. And for other ways to get some help, I do have a podcast where I interview different entrepreneurs and we talk about the struggles of juggling both marriage relationships and business and getting success in both of those. We also throw in a little live coaching, and that is just a fun way to hear other people having the same struggles and difficulties as you, riding the same relationship rapids.
There is also Better Relationship TV with all these tips and practical steps and advice to improve your relationships as well. For example, last week we talked about the importance of carving out time for you and your spouse to connect on a daily basis. I’m not talking about that date night that should be on your schedule as a non-negotiable. I’m talking about those daily connections that move you from roommates to re-kindling that romance in your marriage. It could be something as simple as taking a walk after dinner, hold hands, talk about how you’re feeling, how your day is, what you’re juggling. Really connect with one another. It doesn’t have to be long. But it can make a huge difference in your marriage. And it is a secret to successful marriages.
Q: Susie, do you work with all different kinds of relationships or focus on certain types?
For over 20 years I have worked with all kinds of marriages and families, helping them create better relationships. But living outside the DC area, I began to see my clientele was more high potential, entrepreneurs and busy executives who wanted help juggling that tension of those two things, of being what I call an entre-spouse, an entrepreneur and a spouse.
I have been married to an entrepreneur for 32 years and I have been one for 15 a bit like sharing your spouse with another love. A business can get them excited, they think about it, their face lights up, and that’s hard to deal with at times for the spouse. There’s the whole practicality of providing for the family and we’ve agreed on doing it together, but at the same time it’s a bit of a tug of war. And I help people navigate that.
Q: I know our time is limited and I just have a few more questions. How do you work virtually?
Technology has really changed things. It’s made coaching very accessible. We can work on the phone, via video chat like we are doing now. And that’s a bonus for busy executives and entrepreneurs. They don’t have to include travel time. They just carve out a little time where we have a Skype chat and then they get right back to work. Additionally, there are resources on my website with free downloads, free courses, and there are all kinds of things we can do with technology that has enabled me to see clients all over the country and internationally as well. Virtually means we don’t have to meet face to face. We can do something as simple as this.
Q: As we wrap up, I wonder if there is one tip or strategy you can share with our audience that will help them improve their relationships quickly?
Sure, Jason. I’ll actually tell you my favorite go-to tip I spoke about earlier with my client who called me. I go into a lot of detail in my book, but I’ll give it to you in a nutshell. Fire your inner defence attorney and learn to validate and clarify. What I mean by that is when someone comes, our spouse, and they are going to tell us we have disappointed them or hurt them or they are frustrated with us, our knee-jerk reaction is to explain or justify to get out of the situation. If we’re willing to pause and validate how our spouse feels, it will go a long way to creating good connection. They want to be heard, they want to know the way they’re feeling matters.
Let me give you an example. The other night my husband and I had scheduled an at-home date night to watch a movie together and I was up in my office working. I totally got caught up in my writing and I lost track of time. So the evening wore on and he came upstairs to me and said, “You know, I’m disappointed you didn’t come down and watch the movie with me.” My knee-jerk reaction was to say that I got caught up in my writing and I just lost track of time. Or even turn the tables on him and say that he could have come up and got me.
But, sometimes I actually take my own advice and I paused and thought about it. I said, “John, I can see how my getting caught up in my writing communicated that you weren’t a priority to me.” And in that moment, you could just feel the tension leave the room. That was a huge thing for us as normally I want to explain and then he backs off. Instead, he was able to say, “Thanks for saying that.” While it was too late to watch the movie and we really couldn’t fix the situation, but I acknowledged and validated how he was feeling.
So, remember to listen, validate and say, “Help me understand more about that.” I guarantee your spouse, after picking their jaw up off the floor, will go “Oh, you really want to know!” And that will begin to create more connect and improve things fast. So, validate and clarify.
Q: That was a great tip Susie, I’m going to try that at home with my wife tonight. In our last few seconds, how can our audience get a copy of your book and how do they learn more about working with you?
My book is available on Amazon.com and all the major book sellers have it as well. When the book launched, it hit best-seller status in the first 24 to 48 hours and we have loads of bonuses that I would love to offer to your audience. So, they can go to listenlearnlovebook.com, claim their copy and have access to all the bonuses which include an e-Reader, an audio version, a downloadable workbook and more.
To get in touch with me, they can go to susiemiller.com. That’s my hub for all my coaching and speaking and all the free resources I talked about earlier. They can also access my podcast or my Better Relationship TV. There is also links to my social media. I love to connect with people on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram. They can connect with me there as well.
For more information, visit listenlearnlovebook.com for Susie’s bestselling book and to connect with her personally, go to susiemiller.com
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