(Newswire.net — July 30, 2020) — The concept of black love is beginning to make its way into everyday life. To plumb the depths of this type of relationship requires an exceptional understanding of the interactions that occur between black men and women. To do that, we must ask what makes a relationship good and then contextualize that in terms of blackness. After all, love isn’t just a feeling; it is something that requires action from the individuals experiencing it. This sort of love is unapologetic in its celebration of the culture of black people, and it seeks to build a stronger, healthier relationship instead of tearing itself apart. Does this definition only belong to the “bougie” black people or is it something that people of all classes can enjoy?
While black love is hard work like the rest of black lives, looking at what it can be will demonstrate its necessity in today’s romantic experiences.
What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
In order to look at what makes healthy black love such a significant facet of modern relationships, we need to look at what makes a relationship healthy overall. Both partners in a relationship should feel connected with one another, but they should still have the ability to be independent. Essentially, your partner is willing to let you go out with friends for the day and come home to be with them without arguments or jealousy. Good relationships have boundaries with one another. There is also a fair amount of compromise where both parties get what they want without having to sacrifice something dear to them. Proper communication and control of anger are two other elements of a relationship. As you can see, the best relationships are supportive rather than divisive, but we have to intersect this concept with blackness.
The Dimension of Blackness
Two black people in a good relationship are representative of love, but is that black love? Some believe that it’s not enough just to have a positive interaction between two black people. Instead, the qualities of their relationship must run contrary to the unhealthy notions of a romantic connection. More specifically, they have to shed and dispel the toxic qualities of black relationships that are prevalent in the world today. Lifting one another up, sticking together, not tolerating physical violence, not tolerating criminal activity in their lives- these are the actions that comprise positive black interactions. Those elements combined with a healthy relationship are black love.
Why Is Black Love So Necessary?
Why is black love necessary in the modern-day? Look around the world. In the United States, black people suffer from poverty, a lack of generational wealth, less access to education, and a myriad of other problems. These situations are made worse by institutional racism and problems that are rooted in the black community itself. People struggle to survive and find love, and that, unfortunately, involves standing on the backs of people so they can ease their own suffering. Black love seeks to help people love themselves, their partner, and their fellow people. This idea can be internalized and used as a starting point for positive activity in the world around you.
Where Can I Find Black Love?
Now that we’ve looked at the complex case of black love, you might want to know where to find it. You can start by looking where you live. Find people that have similar interests, see if you have a connection, and watch the relationship develop. If you need a fresh start, then try a different community, go to some form of a group like religions or hobbies, or look around your school as you are bettering yourself. There are websites like Iwantblacks.com that specialize in helping black people meet other single black people. There, you can establish your online relationship and watch it grow over time. When you finally feel ready to meet your partner, all you have to do is ask them to go somewhere safe with you. It might take more time to build trust than typical dating, but the positive outcomes can’t be beaten.
Finding black love is difficult because it’s not something that you can stumble upon. It is something that you have to build piece by piece. Black love is also hard to enact because it can make you react to situations in a way that is contrary to what you know or how you were taught as a young person. That being said, it’s worth building someone up rather than tearing them down, and it’s better to serve as a proper example for others than the take the path of least resistance.