When we get the bad news from a doctor that we have a potentially serious or fatal condition that will be ongoing, or if we have to go through a procedure that will render us unable to have the quality of life that we once enjoyed, it can be a very depressing experience. Despite that, the anxiety and disappointment you feel about having this condition can be almost as harmful to your daily life as the condition itself. You spend so much time pining over what you had, and hoping you can get it back, that you don’t live in the now and accept your circumstances. While you may not believe this at first, a new study that was performed at Carnegie Mellon University and the University of Michigan sheds new light on this particular phenomenon.
In the study, a group of people who had undergone colostomies (leaving them unable to have bowel movements without a special bag) in the recent past were collected and gathered for an experiment. The people responsible for the study informed half of the patients that they could reverse their colostomies in a few months’ time; the other half was given the bad news that they would have to deal with this the rest of their lives. The researchers then carefully examined the psychological effects it had on the patient’s way of living through the day.
What they found was that the ones who were told they had the possibility of getting better didn’t completely accept their current conditions. They spent too much time being morose, hoping for the possibility of getting better, while their current, daily life suffered. On the other hand, while there was some initial depression in the other group, they eventually started to take stock of their lives and lived on despite this condition, losing hope but accepting the situation that they found themselves in and adapting.
While the university’s statement regarding the experiment didn’t give any further details as to the life circumstances of the participants, such as the demographics of the group, the numbers they dealt with, or what kinds of people were told which of the two stories, the conclusion was clear that the ones who were given hope were less able to function in the here and now than those who adapted to their new circumstances.
Even though the concept of giving up may seem counterintuitive to a lot of us living in America, where the chief conceit is that if you work hard enough and hope, you can accomplish anything, the study places an importance on the value of accepting your circumstances. It’s all well and good to strive for something you don’t have, but when it’s completely impossible, as with certain medical conditions, do you keep trying for something that doesn’t happen? Or do you just face facts, recognize that it’s not going to get better, and try to live life the best you can?
In essence, it’s all about your outlook. If you have a debilitating condition that, while not curable, is at least treatable, such as diabetes, You can still live and full and normal life, but if you obsess and focus on the fact that you have diabetes in the first place, you can get in the way of your own happiness. While hope can be an important thing, the downside of hope is that it can prevent you from living in the here and now, while sacrificing your own bliss and your life’s journey to wish for something that might not happen, or is at least out of your control.
When it comes down to it, you may have to come to a point where you simply adapt to the circumstances you are given, instead of putting your life on hold until a miracle arrives, which is the most unhealthy attitude of all.