After a horrible primary showing in Florida, Newt Gingrich has conceded the race to win the Republican Presidential nomination, and has called Mitt Romney to congratulate him on his win. “I thought being a Newt, would have won me more of the reptilian vote in Florida” stated a dejected Gingrich.
Don’t feel sorry for Newt Gingrich, in his campaign he really got in touch with his reptilian roots, and it seems to have paid off nicely. A spokesperson for Geico Auto Insurance has confirmed that Newt has what it takes to launch a new tax planning service that the company is about to launch.
Running parallel with the Geico Auto Insurance message of “Give us 15 Minutes and you could save 15 % on your car insurance” Newt’s message will center on the topic of “Give us 15 minutes and we can show you how to save 15% off your federal income taxes”.
Mostly the tax savings will center on outsourcing American Jobs and cutting critical funding to hospitals, but remember Newts are cold blooded reptiles, who only care about what insects are on the menu tonight. Which probrably explains why Newt Gingrich has suggested “that we do away with truly stupid” child labor laws, and has gone as far as arguing that New York City janitors are overpaid and should be replaced with poor schoolchildren. According to Gingrich “the earlier that kids start punching the clock, the better — and that means starting with nine-year-olds”
All I have to say is that I am glad that Newts cant camoflauge their tongue and that Americans today know how to research.