Whitney Houston’s funeral officially kicked off her legacy today. Witnesses are said to have seen her smiling from above, knowing that she help expose the Westboro Baptist Church as nothing more than cowards and liars that they are.
For those of you who don’t know who this misguided group of excrement is, the Westboro Baptist Church thinks it’s there divine duty to protest funerals in the name of promoting one of their equally warped agendas. They attend military funerals, protesting the war, or a celebrity funeral, protesting gay marriage. They are religion’s answer to the paparazzi, who have become intoxicated by media exposure as a way to dull the pain of their miserable existence.
But today, we will forever know them as nothing more than cowards and liars. See yesterday the leader of the church decided to tweet that they were going to protest the event. Being I grew up in Whitney Houston’s neighborhood, I thought the potential of a newsworthy story was in the making, so I commissioned two of our writers to find the protesters and interview them.
No Church members could be found, we looked, we walked and could not find anyone with a sign saying anything negative about Whitney Houston. So I figured a no show and no story.
Photoshop Picture and Rationale to Support New Moniker of Coward and Liar
I am the senior editor of Newswire and we have an ethics policy crafted by the Columbia School of Journalism. Calling someone a coward or a liar is a serious statement and in support and defense of this statement I present our rationale.
The leader of this church broadcasted an altered image of it members protesting Whitney Houston’s funeral. We have examined this picture and notice that there is a pixilation inconsistency, meaning two separate photos of different resolution have been merged into one.
Further proof of altered picture
Newark is a dangerous town; in fact it is one of the most dangerous cities in America add that Westboro Baptist Church protesters must rely on police protection during their protest. Now look at the picture; No Police Protection.
So as editor of Newswire I stand behind the statement that the Westboro Baptist Protesters are cowards and that they hid that they were cowards by lying (broadcast of an altered image) in concealing this.
Whitney Houston, you were an amazing person well before fame found you. You where the pride of Essex County and Caldwell New Jersey where you attended Mount St. Dominic’s High school. Your legacy is already off to a great start exposing the misguided. RIP.
To Westboro Baptist Church, in accordance with our ethics policy produce an original picture proving you were protesting Whitney Houston’s funeral, I will personally recant the story. This is my personal opinion and if you would like to litigate I welcome that more than your sad excuses.
/s/
Chris Ryan