(Newswire.net — February 10, 2014) Placerville, California —
You’ve worked with children for most of the past 20 years. What would you say is the number one reason parents seek counseling for their children?
In recent years, the majority of the children I see are struggling with the emotional challenges of adjusting to high-conflict separating or divorcing parents, and/or being put in the middle of custody battles. Domestic conflict or violence is emotionally devastating and traumatic for children.
How do you work with the child struggling with the conflict of divorce and its complexities?
I use play, art and sand tray therapies to give children a way to safely express their feelings. It’s important that they feel understood. They are often experiencing conflicting feelings that they don’t fully understand. It’s scary for a child to feel fear or anger toward a parent they also love very much. Often children believe that there is something they could have done to prevent the conflict or divorce. They may be feeling abandoned, or forced to have loyalty to one parent, or to deny their feelings for one parent while visiting with the other parent. I want to help children have words for their feelings and feel understood.
What about the parents? Do they participate in the treatment of their child?
I believe that it’s critical to involve parents whenever possible in treatment and see my role with them as collaborative. I work to build trust and help them understand their child’s perspective while encouraging them in developing positive strategies to support their child as cooperatively as possible. My goal is to help parents take their child out of the middle of their conflict and focus on finding common ground for cooperative parenting. Often, when the focus is on cooperative co-parenting, the issues for their children are more quickly resolved.
What should parents look for in their child that would tell them to seek counseling?
First, I tell parents that they know their child best. So if there is a change in mood or behavior, such as becoming angry or withdrawn, or experiencing a change in school performance, that’s a time to consider counseling.
If you’re not sure if your child is coping well, it can’t hurt to schedule an evaluation. A therapist may find that your child is doing well, but having built a positive connection during the evaluation process, you then have someone you can go to if you or your child need support down the road.
You can learn more about Kathleen Young at Psychology Today.
Her practice is located at: Placerville, California.
Contact: Email Kathleen S Young MA, LMFT