Establish A Meaningful Bond With Your Adopted Child During the Holidays

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( — November 28, 2016) — FORT WORTH, TX (November 28, 2016) – The Holidays can be a joyful yet stressful occasion for many families.  Add a newly adopted child to the mix, and that stress can quickly escalate to an entire new level.  As you strive for a blockbuster occasion, consider a few tactics to help your newest family member enjoy this special occasion.

First, consider the anxiety that your adopted child might be experiencing.  The gathering of extended family into a relatively small space such as a dining room or house will feel exciting, energizing and happy to those who are accustomed to the experience.  But for a child experiencing anxiety, which often does not show on their face, it can be an experience that is far from pleasant.  Make sure someone stays close and aware of the mood and emotions of the child short, periodic quiet escapes from the rest of the crowd.  Your adopted child will be excited about being a part of this family event, but may need these small quiet breaks to make sure they don’t become over-stimulated or over-anxious.

Second, before the event, speak to family members that will be meeting your adopted child for the first time, and encourage them to not be overly eager to hug and pepper your newest family member with questions.  Getting acquainted in a “slow and gentle” manner will help your child adjust in an emotionally safe way to this new and loving set of relatives.

Third, introduce your child to a new or old family tradition that you can experience together during Thanksgiving.  This will help your child feel like he or she is becoming part of a cohesive family unit, as opposed to feeling like an outsider who doesn’t belong.  For example, you can watch holiday movies, play board games, or bake cookies to enjoy quality time.

Lastly, Leslie Culpepper in her blog, “Holidays With An Adopted Child” writes …

“Be sensitive to the way your extended family treats your adopted child at family functions. This is especially important in blended families with biological and adopted children. No one wants to think that their extended family treats their adopted children differently, but watch out for behaviors from extended family that may make your adopted child feel isolated from your biological children.”

Here are actions you can take to resolve issues if they arise …

  • Be aware of actions and statements around your adopted child, and demonstrate to your adopted child that he or she is a valued member of the family.
  • Find a time to remark on being thankful that families are created in a variety of ways, including birth, adoptions, marriage, etc.
  • Kindly and honestly speak with extended family members about their insensitive behavior.  Remember that they probably aren’t aware of the potential impact of their words and actions.

Keep in mind that developing a meaningful bond is a process that happens in a different way for every individual.  It could take 6 months, 2 years or more.  Regardless, know that children form attachments with caregivers when they feel safe, and believe that their needs are being met.  Ready yourself mentally to slowly gain their trust, admiration, and affection.

Beyond Adoptions’ Parent-to-Parent™ coaching service offers a practical yet effective solution for adoptive parents that are looking to establish a more connected relationship with their adopted child or children. They offer various services such as: online video conferences, telephone coaching and group sessions, in addition to a 1-on-1 complimentary 40-minute strategy session for prospective clients.

Please visit and get a 1-on-1 complimentary 40-minute strategy session.


Beyond Adoptions, Inc.
Fort Worth, Texas