(Newswire.net — July 18, 2019) — Mobile phone use by children is a recurring issue for parents. One may wonder at what age they are ready (physically, emotionally, cognitively, and emotionally?) to use a smartphone or a tablet? We want above all that our children do not develop digital addiction and to do so, we must establish rules of good conduct age by age with the screens. Here are our tips for kids to discover digital so they do not develop bad habits.
Christine refused to give a phone to her daughter, Leah, as long as possible. Then, for her 13th birthday, she received a smartphone as a gift from her godfather. She was the last of her friends to have her own phone. To explain this refusal, Christine says that she did not want the massive use of screens to absorb too much of her daughter’s life. And now that she got her smartphone, Lea is a lot on her phone, constantly sending messages on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp.
Leah’s parents fear a phenomenon of numerical dependence on their daughter, which deprives her of doing other activities that she liked before.
This example illustrates the discomfort parents may feel about the phone and the child. Does this mean preventing children from having a phone or, more broadly, getting close to the screens? The answer is obviously no. Today, digital devices are everywhere. These have become commonplace and accompany us in many of our daily activities.
To prevent child from using the screens is to cut him off from a part of society? It is not for anything that we are talking about a new phenomenon: “Digital Exclusion” for the most disadvantaged. A study showed that the average age of the first mobile phone among young children was 11 years old. We must therefore help them from an early age to apprehend this new tool and accompany them to learn how to use it well.
As we teach our children to behave well in society, we must show them how to use and behave with a smartphone, on the internet and on the various applications and social networks they love. But all this can be learned step by step.
4 to 6 years
It is highly recommended in young children to outlaw the use of the phone and other mobile devices. As for exposure to screens, such as television, it should be less than an hour a day for children from 2 to 5 years old. And for children under 2, they should not be exposed to screens at all.
It must be understood that the use of smartphones from a very early age hinders the good development of the brain. Mobile devices quickly accustom the brain to use it through the production of dopamine, better known as the pleasure hormone. The constant stimulation of the brain, generated by the screens causes “brain shocks”. This results in a phenomenon of rapid dependence among the smallest.
We are not saying that mobile devices or screens more widely are harmful to children. It’s the way we use them that is. A too young digital exposure disconnects the child from the basic needs necessary for his good development: food, sleep, physical activity, play, imagination and concrete experimentation of physical objects.
If young children get used to screens, the brain loses its ability to get its dose of dopamine. Why go play, go outside, and make friends to get dopamine since it can be easily obtained with the screen?
Habituating small to mobile devices does not allow their socialization. It is important for the child to meet, play, interact with others, look at their faces to develop empathy, learn to read emotions, understand social interactions and the functionality of objects. Social skills develop in contact with other people and physical knowledge during experiments.
7 to 9 years
For this age group, it is still not recommended to offer a smartphone to your child. Even if they are becoming more and more curious and it is more and more difficult to restrict their access to your own phone so that they play Clash Royale, Bubble Witch or Pokémon Go. However, we can understand that it reassures parents to leave a phone for their child when they are away from home. In this case, we can very well opt for an old-fashioned, clamshell phone. The classic Nokia 3310 will do just fine. In addition, there is the Snake game on it.
The same goes for the use of social networks. Between 7 and 9 years old, they are still too young to go on. At this age, it is difficult to understand the system of permanent publication. Children under 13 have not yet developed their competence in critical thinking. Exposure to the surge of daily publications and messages can be a source of stress for the child.
Exposure to screens in this age group must also be supervised by parents. Children aged 5 to 11 should not spend more than 2 hours a day in front of the TV, PC, tablet or smartphone.
From 10 to 12 years
Parents should always limit the use of the phone at this age, as well as all devices connected to the Internet. Children can start having their own device, but avoid smartphones connected to the Internet.
Mobile devices and the use of social networks by children of this age can cause emotional disorders. In particular, they favour excessive trust in the child who feels constantly valued by likes, hearts, sharing, flames on his publications and messages. Or, conversely, an unwarranted depreciation of his person compared to other children. This can be harmful for the establishment of a necessary confidence in him.
The reality shows that children get their first smartphone at the average age of 11 years old. Difficult then not to give in to the pressure of his child who explains that all his friends have one. Instead of strictly forbidding the smartphone and the social networks, it is necessary to accompany the child in his first uses.
As soon as the child starts to use smart devices, connected to the Internet, it is necessary to set up parental controls. There are many tools, software or applications for this such as FamilyTime (The parental control app favoured by the majority of parents).
Follow your child to understand what he is doing too. Parents should not feel overwhelmed by a game or technology. Then ask your child to explain to you soak in his universe.
A game is currently raging with young people, it’s about Fortnight. A cooperative game of shooting and survival. For those who can, it is interesting to try to understand the functioning of this type of game to speak the same language as that of his child. Another idea, instead of asking your child to play 30 minutes and stop, when we know that a part is quite short, we can tell him something that is more tangible for him: “You still play 3 games, you change Skins (a term of the game that means changing the clothes of his character) and you stop.
Pre-teens and teens
Ideally, it would be advisable to increase the age of the first phone to 16 years. But, it becomes very difficult to respect this principle nowadays. Be that as it may, it’s important to watch your teenager about possible behavioural changes. A teenager who develops a digital addiction is more sensitive to depression or anxiety.
On social networks, in the early years, teens should only talk to friends they have in real life. At this age, social networks are supportive to strengthen friendships. Your child will feel too much guarded if you ask him for his personal access. On the other hand, you can easily request that he add you as a “Friend” on Facebook and other platforms. This will not control everything but you will see at least the messages that are public. And you also have to start trusting your teen while keeping an eye on him.
Continue to impose rules of life at home: prohibition to have his phone at the table, in family activities and meetings, turning off the phones at 21 hours. Rules of etiquette that your child must respect, but parents also. It is necessary to show the example and to impose the same rules as those asked to the children.
The use of the phone is not prohibited, but must always be supervised by an adult. At each stage of development, mom and dad must teach the child the right things, what is done and not done and pay attention. As we teach our kids not to talk to strangers in the street, we do not accept an invitation from someone you do not know about social media.